December

So far as of today I have made (this month):

13 little kid story books with 3 different stories
16 KindNotes jars with 30 different pearls of wisdom (ok they all lean toward the obnoxious side...)
5 tshirts with Phineas, Ferb, Candace and Perry painted on them
a super awesome starwars quilt,
10 onesies with geeky stuff painted on them
2 Mostly Mean Fairies books

And I submitted my application to present at the educational technology conference in March and danced at the all-IT work christmas party talent show, in between an acoustic guitar player and a yodeler and got A's this semester whilst sweating my projects and proposals.



The talent show, I did not barf or fear pee even though the VP for IT and his 5 next in line minions where at a table right at the front next to the stage.

The story I am too chicken to use.

Untitled for now, I asked coworkers to come up with the smutty phrases we've been seeing and hearing around the interwebs. I can't bring myself to use this one so I'll be changing the ending.


Silent but deadly,
I snuck out of your room,

And rode my bike to your garden,
To see the flowers bloom.

But down by the roses,
Past a big yellow cat,

I found a big brown box,
Next to our welcome mat.

I cut a hole in the box,
And found lots of things,

Balls and shirts and underwear,
And toys and books and rings.

I pulled out two birds, one cup
And a rocking horse I named “Mom”

So every day
When I go outside to play,
My other ride is your Mom, okay?

I could have been a Children's Writer

I am finished for the semester and am working on some homemade books for the nieces and nephews. The ones I made last time were pretty simple so in this version, 2.0, I have to make them more weird. I've found that when trying to rhyme words you can come up with a lot of possibilities. So I write out all of the letters of the alphabet and based the morphology of our words I can go through the letters and see what makes a word. If I pick the filthy option, the sad little kids will never read the book so I have to find something that is innocent and fits the story. After I give them all out I will post some pictures but from 1.0 here's what they were.

Title: What is a ______(kid's name)
 (assuming it's a girl)
Is she a bird?
Is she a bee?
Is she a dog?
Is she a tree?
Is she a flower?
Is she a mouse?
Is she an alligator?
Is she a house?
Is she a ladybug?
Is she a boat?
Is she a doll?
Is she a goat?
I know! ______ is a little girl!
 
And then a picture of the kid.
 
 
Also,  version 1.1 (for Cian's 3rd birthday)
 
Spiderman
 
He likes to climb walls,
And swing across buildings,
And then come eat dinner when his mom calls.
He likes to jump very high,
And run very quick,
Then hurry and take a bath,
So he doesn’t get sick.
And then he goes to his bed,
And his mommy turns out the light
And he dreams about climbing walls,
And mommy kisses him goodnight.
 
This time around I'm doing three versions for three different age levels. So now I have to come up with rhymes that are made of very short words. I have two all finished and need one more.